| 幽默文章 在家工作 |
||||
| 中学英语教学资源网 → 英语论文 → 教学论文 手机版 | ||||
在家工作真的快乐吗？看看下面此兄的经历吧…… The Joys of “Working” at Home The absolute greatest scam on the planet has to be telecommuting. When I first heard that some employers actually permit their workers to stay home all day and “commute” to the office over the Net, I chuckled with good-natured disbelief: No way. Then I became obsessed with the idea—not in a bad way, of course. Sure, I spent a few weekends following my editor around town so I could “bump into” him at the dry cleaner’s or genetic counselor’s clinic or deserted jogging trail. And yes, there was that time when I showed up at his desk with several sticks of dynamite strapped to my head. But those amusing little stunts were merely intended to show him the kind of guy I was—a total self-starter and a serious loner—in short, the perfect candidate upon whom to bestow the splendid privilege of telecommutation. Shortly after this, a computer equipped with a 28.8 modem and a cranky little piece of software known as a PPP connection (see below) summarily arrived at my home. I was a telecommuter at last! How to describe the soaring liberation I felt in those first days of “working” at home! No longer did I have to wear uncomfortable, itchy suits and ties and shoes to the office. (I could work in the nude if I liked ) And goodbye to the filthy, always late and criminally expensive Long Island Rail Road. It takes me 30 seconds to wander, naked, from my bedroom to my “office” in the garage. Yes, indeed, I was a telecommuter at last. And life was grand. I cursed my laziness for hopping the gravy train so late in life after wasting so much money on ties and shoes. But what did I know? It turns out that telecommuting is not the golden goose some savants of the Digital Age claim it is. No, it is a cruel and doomed mirage that could send you back, begging for your old office job from a pitiless editor. If, that is, you fail to master the Four Little Secrets of Telecommuting: Little Secret 1: Woe unto the home telecommuter. You quickly become the company goat because everyone thinks you have a cushy deal “working” at home. And the best way to vent their frustration is to incessantly E-mail, voice-mail, beep and cellular-call you. Naturally, there are defenses against this. Little Secret 2: In the unlikely event that you actually want to work, it’s virtually impossible. It’s such a nice day, or it’s too hot, or a particular movie needs watching, or it’s naptime. No, it’s impossible to get anything done. Little Secret 3: It’s lonely. All your friends are at work having long lunches and snickering about how your editor wears those peculiar suspenders and what’s that all about anyway. And you’re at home. alone. Little Secret 4: Your PPP connection (see above) will always fail. If you need connectivity to your office system, try something more reliable, like a carrier pigeon or a message in a bottle. Aside from that, I love telecommuting, I really do. And I’m sure you will too. 这世界上最大的诡计无疑是“远程办公”。当我第一次听到有些雇主真的允许职员整天待在家里，通过网络“往返”办公室时，我不禁用笑声表示礼貌的怀疑：绝对没有这种可能。 可自那以后，我却被这个想法迷住了――当然，不是往坏的方向想。我确确实实花了几个星期跟踪我的编辑，逛遍了整个城镇，这样我就能在干洗店、遗传病顾问的门诊室或是在冷僻的慢跑者的小路上“冷不丁撞见”他了。当然，最终我还得在他的办公桌前出现，带着满脑子对工作的伟大创意。当然使用这些逗人发笑的小伎俩只是想告诉他我是什么样的人――一个不折不扣的做事主动的人，一个严重的孤独者――总之，是一个理想的，值得赋予“在家工作”这样令人激动的特权的人。 在这之后不久，一台配有28.8速调制解调器和装有被称为PPP 连接（点对点连接，一种电脑连网方式，同下）的奇异的小软件的电脑被匆忙的搬进我家，另外附有一封信件，看着令人怀疑是一份法律档案。 我终于是一个“在家工作者”了！ 我简直无法描述在家“工作”的最初日子里，我所感到的那种犹如鸟儿在空中翱翔的自由。我再也不用穿着不舒适的、令人发痒的西装、领带和鞋子去办公室了。（如果我愿意，我可以光着身子工作）我也告别了肮脏的、总是晚点的、敲竹杠般昂贵的长岛铁路。我只需花30秒钟，赤裸着从卧室漫步到位于车库的“办公室”。 是的，我终于真正成为一个“在家上班族”了。生活变得如此美好。我诅咒我的懒惰，竟然在领带和鞋子上浪费那么多的钱之后才搭上了这个轻松赚大钱的便车，真是相见恨晚哪！ 但是我只知其一，不知其二。原来，“在家上班”并不是许多数字化时代的专家所宣称的“每天能下一个金蛋的鹅”。它是一座冷酷的注定把你带回到从前的海市蜃楼。也就是说，如果你没有真正领悟以下四个“在家办公”的小秘密，你就不得不向一个无情的编辑乞求一份以前的办公室工作。 小秘密1：为那些家中的“远程办公者”感到悲哀吧。你很快便成为公司的替罪羊，因为每个人都认为在家“工作”是个轻松而容易赚钱的差事。当他们失意时，发泄的最好的方式就是不断给你发E-mail(电子邮件),Voice-mail(录音邮件),呼你，或干脆打你的大哥大。 秘密 2：，当你自己真的想要工作的时候，尽管这种情形好象极少出现，确实真正不可能，不是因为天气太好（而想出去玩），就是天太热，或是想看一部特别的电影，或是到了午休时间。总之，你不可能做成任何事情。 小秘密 3：你太孤独了。你所有的朋友都在上班，吃着长长的午餐，窃笑编辑穿着Jerry Garcia 设计的奇特的吊带裤，以及所有其它的一切。可你却待在家里，品味孤独。 小秘密 4： 你的PPP连接（点对点连接，同上）总是出错。如果你需要连接到你的办公室系统，请试试别的更可靠的东西，比如象信鸽或是把信放在瓶子里漂洋过海。 除了这些以外，我喜欢“远程办公”。真的是这样。并且我相信你也如此。 相关链接：教学论文
|
·语文课件下载
| |||
『 点此察看与本文相关的其它文章』『 搜索相关课件』
| ||||
| 【上一篇】【下一篇】 【教师投稿】 | ||||
本站管理员：尹瑞文 微信：13958889955